Monday, March 25, 2013

Interview With a Mastiff - Brinkley Mastiff

Tell us about your family?

First there’s my people’s.  Mommy and Shawn.  Mommy takes care of me and trains me and gives me cookies and baths and all kinds of stuff.  Shawn… or dad plays with me and I cuddle him on the couch sometimes.  I like to lick his head and ears when he’s not paying attention.  Boone is my brother.  He’s a pain in my tail, but when he’s gone or I’m gone and get back he’s the first one I look for to greet!  I guess I love da big lug a little bit.  Finally there’s that mean furry gray one that I like to stalk and chase (Molly the cat), but she beats the crap out of me if I ever get to close.  Sometimes mom gets mad at me cause I won’t stop chasing her.

Here's me doing two of my favorite things...
lying in the bed and licking (not sure what I'm licking though)
Take us through a typical day in your life.
I don’t get to sleep in the bed since that person after a long car ride cut my leg open (TPLO surgery) cause mom says jumping off the bed could really mess up my healing.  I feel great though, so I make sure to stand beside the bed and whine for a few minutes each morning cause I still want up real bad.  Then the mom gets up and feeds me, I get REALLY excited about this.  Then I go out for 2 minutes and potty and patrol the backyard.  I sleep all day while the peoples are at work, then get excited and playful for like 15 whole minutes when they get home.  I get to go for a walk a lot of days.  And then the rest of the afternoon I sleep.  At dinner time (which I KNOW of course) I start to whine and groan until the mom gets up and feeds me.  If I don’t get fed by 8:00 I whine constantly making them think I’m dying.  Then they feed me.  After I eat I go potty outside for 2 minutes, then back on the couch to sleep until the next morning. 
How do you fit in with the household?
I’m the one who makes sure no one is trying to kill us.  I make sure if the window is open and something is going on outside I bark to let everyone know.  I patrol the backyard twice a day and growl and bark at anything I think isn’t right.  I am the family protector for sure.  The Boone is too dumb for this job, he loves everyone too much.  The responsibility falls on me to keep everyone safe.
Me playing in the hose
What is you’re least favorite thing to do?
I HATE getting my toenails chopped off.  It is HORRIBLE TORTURE. I HATE it.
What are some of your hobbies?

I spend a fair amount of my time (that I’m not sleeping) waiting for food, whining about not getting the food and most of the rest of my time is spent sucking on my toys and chasing the cat. I like to play in the snow too. I eat it. I eat grass too.... and play in the water.  I looooove the water.   I love doing all these things. 

Me and Boone sucking on our toys.  I gots the big monkey
and he has his nasty love bear
Where are your favorite places to visit?
The couch and the bed.  I like walks too, but don’t like to go to places where I’m expected to do anything productive.
What would you like to tell everyone about yourself?
I have a true Mastiff guardian personality.  I love everyone unless you give me a reason not to.  Mess with my family and I’ll mess you up.  I also love to lick people.  My tongue is a good 10 inches long, it wraps around people heads real good.  If you want to be my friend give me food and let me lick you.  That’s all I ask.

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